Richard C. Patchett
01-28-2006, 02:30 PM
RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE
1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a
little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.
3. I take my wife everywhere.....
but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our
anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!"
she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands.
If I let go, she shops.
6. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because
there was water in the carburetor.
I asked where the car was; she told me "In the lake."
7. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late
for the garbage?" .... The driver said "No, jump in!"
8. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
9. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her
first name was Always.
10. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her.
11. The last fight was my fault though.
My wife asked "What's on the TV?"
I said "Dust!"
Can't you just hear him saying all of these?
I love it.........those were the good old days
when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word........ just clean and simple fun.
1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a
little beverage, good food and companionship.
She goes on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds.
Hers is in California and mine is in Texas.
3. I take my wife everywhere.....
but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our
anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!"
she said.
So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands.
If I let go, she shops.
6. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because
there was water in the carburetor.
I asked where the car was; she told me "In the lake."
7. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling "Am I too late
for the garbage?" .... The driver said "No, jump in!"
8. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
9. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her
first name was Always.
10. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months.
I don't like to interrupt her.
11. The last fight was my fault though.
My wife asked "What's on the TV?"
I said "Dust!"
Can't you just hear him saying all of these?
I love it.........those were the good old days
when humor didn't have to start with a four letter word........ just clean and simple fun.